Episode Transcript
Patricia Cangas (00:01)
Welcome to Pixel Parenting, the podcast that helps families raise kids in a world full of screens using science and curiosity. Here, we share science-backed strategies and real conversations to help you build healthier digital habits with practical tools for everyday parenting in this digital age. Let's get into it.
Your child wants to play something you don't fully understand, an app or a game that didn't exist when you were their age. Today we get into how and when it's best to have those conversations and what to do if you feel you are late to all of this. Parental controls are important, but the conversation matters more than any setting on the device. My guest today is Dr. Elizabeth Milavidoff. Dr. Elizabeth has spent more than 20 years helping families navigate digital life. She founded digital parentingcoach.com and digitalm.org with her son Maximilian.
A youth safety advocate. She serves as an independent expert on digital parenting and children's rights for the Council of Europe, has advised Microsoft and European Schoolnet, and she has served as senior counsel on digital gaming and metaverse at the Lego Group. And last year became Roblox's first global head of parental advocacy. She will help us understand what Roblox really is and how to approach these conversations across any tech your kid is on. Let's get into it.
Thank you so much, Dr. Elizabeth, for being here. I'm so excited.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (01:20)
me more so.
Patricia Cangas (01:22)
Before we jump into the topic, I'm gonna share a story. This project, Pixel Parenting, has changed names three times. And one of the names I had was digital parenting. And when I was looking for a domain, I thought, well, digital parenting something, right? Coach, labs, and I ran into digital parenting coach, and I found you. This was years ago. And I'm like, she has a great domain and she does exactly like what I wanna do. She has a great business, she's an expert.
Anyway, you had the cool domain and then years later somebody said, Hey, you should look at Doctor Elizabeth and I'm like, Is that digital parenting coach dot com? She has the cool domain. So when your communications team reached out, I was like, I know her. I've been following her work for a long time. So I'm glad to have you.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (02:05)
here. Patricia, that makes me so happy. And it's very, very funny because I chose digital parenting coach dot com because the day before somebody took digitalparenting dot com. I just wanted digitalparenting dot com in the beginning. Yeah. This was gosh, thirteen years ago.
Patricia Cangas (02:20)
Yeah. I also wanted digital parenting.com.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (02:23)
Yeah,
it's gone. But the person's not doing anything with it. See, look at what we could do. We're gonna let's buy it, Patricia. Let's go. Let's make it big.
Patricia Cangas (02:30)
Totally. Yeah. I checked a couple of days ago when I was preparing and yeah, I it's still not used. So it
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (02:36)
Anyway, a side project. Side project.
Patricia Cangas (02:39)
Side project. Yes. Well, thank you for being here again. And let's jump into it. Communications. So most parents I talk to, the first thing they do when their kid asks, I want to play Roblox, I want to play something else, I want to use an app, is Google parental controls. So they don't Google how to talk to my kid about whatever they want to use. Why do you think that is?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (03:03)
I think because it's hard, right? It's really hard to have these conversations. And it's not that parents are lazy or anything like that. It's just that it is hard to start the conversation. It is hard to hear something that you don't really want to hear and to then figure out how to pivot and adjust. And
Yeah, it for me conversation the two go hand in hand, right? The technological aspect and then the conversation. But the easier option obviously is to try to just, you know, hit a toggle a button and say, okay, everything's done, my child is protected and you and I both know it's not that simple. So
Patricia Cangas (03:35)
So
what do parental controls do well and what d don't they? W where do they fit in the conversation versus control?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (03:43)
Yeah. my gosh. I really like this question because parental controls are essential, right? So I like to think of them as sort of the the the training wheels online safety, right? We're gonna put them on. This will help you be a better digital guardian. It will help you support your child, but it's conversation.
That's gonna teach you how you're going to, you know, really steer this whole experience with your family. But I think for parents, I mean, really, they don't realize that the two really need to go together because their first instinct, as you so rightly said, they'll go on Google, check something out. And the instance their instinct is to sort of reach for a tool, something that will be that digital babysitter and reduces some of the the pressure for them. But for me, always, you know, there's no app that can replace a conversation. None.
It hasn't been created yet. Perhaps you and I will do it, but it hasn't been created yet.
Patricia Cangas (04:31)
Iep, it hasn't been created yet. w what's a common reason that parents avoid these stocks? You've talked to a lot of parents. Why do we we because I'm also a parent, do we avoid these stocks and how do we get past that? I think
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (04:44)
I think that we sort of avoid it because we don't want to come off like we're interrogating, right? We don't want to come off as, you know, being some sort of dictator and asking all these sort of questions. And we don't want to appear defensive. But I think that's why if you flip the model and if you use curiosity, right, and you show that you're interested in what your children are doing instead of interrogating them, that it's just a natural way. And we're parents and caregivers. So obviously we are really interested in our children's lives. And for me it's just a mindset shift to to think that, you know, you really can be a digital.
guardian, you know, without having to say, you know, looking over their shoulder and saying, What's this? What are you doing? etc. Because obviously they're gonna close out the game, the app, they'll give you the shortest answer possible, they'll get into defense mode. But if you know if you kind of shift that and you're really just kind of pulled back saying, you know, what are you doing? What's really cool that's happening in your world right now? And you're just showing them that you are interested in their activities. And children want that. Afterwards they will be the ones showing you what they're doing. At least I hope so.
Patricia Cangas (05:39)
What
if what they answer is not what we wanna hear? Yeah.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (05:42)
Yeah.
That happens a lot. And I think that's something that frightens parents and caregivers. And as you said, we've both been in this for years and years. And you know, I'm sure you've spoken to a lot of parents as well. And it's just you are going to hear something that you don't want to hear. So be prepared, you know, and instead of being afraid of these situations, give your child strategies. It's the same thing, Patricia, that we do when we take our children outside to a park, for example, and we teach them how to cross the road, how to look left and right, don't talk to strangers, don't run off to go pet a little dog.
We give them strategies beforehand, right? But we don't always do that in the digital world. So imagine if we could give them some digital strategies about.
What to do if somebody says something inappropriate, what to do if someone asks you to change to a different platform. Give them the strategy so that way they have a way out and they can still be cool. They can still play their game and be like, no, you know, let's stay here on this platform or what have you. But I think that is the best thing that parents can do. And in order to do that, you have to be listening and you also have to be ready for the hard conversations. Yeah.
Patricia Cangas (06:43)
I agree and you talked about strategies. Sometimes when we want to give strategies, they come out as rules and judgment. Yeah. It would be great if they came out as strategies. Yeah. How can we shift the tone? Love.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (06:59)
This question, love it. So you're just gonna shift it because you're not sitting there thinking, you know, imposing a rule. You want your child to be involved with you. So you ask them to set those rules. You ask them, you know, how much time do you think you need like to play that game? How much time do you really need to be on social media to connect with your friends? Okay, that looks good. Let's give it a try. Let's see how it works. And then let's watch how you're doing, how you're sleeping, how your schoolwork is. And if that works, then that is the right balance. And if it's not, we're gonna adjust. And I think that's how you get those rules in place. If you're not thinking
of them again as rules, you're thinking of them as conversations. You're thinking of yourself as a digital guardian for your child. And I know that this sounds so simplistic, but if we liken it to food, right? The idea that we know our children want candies and sodas and junk food.
And we find ways, you know, to give them a little bit and to say, come on, but let's do the healthy stuff. So it's always about you just having that conversation and putting that balance because I promise if you say you can never touch a soda or cake chocolate, they will go there first. So I think it's the same thing when we see all sorts of super restrictive behavior. You know, let's support them, let's guide them.
Patricia Cangas (08:05)
That's really helpful. I think parents can work with that. What about the kid that shuts down whenever you start even talking about it? Like they've been talking about their friends playing specific games, let's say Roblox in this case, and they come home and they mention Roblox and you try to, you know, do the strategic, yeah, tell me more about it. But the moment you start speaking, they shut down. How do you break that? How do you break break?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (08:32)
True. Yeah, I think that it's a great question for, you know, what to do on Roblox and beyond, right? I think for any sort of digital situation or digital drama or digital discussion. you know, what you want to do is ensure that there is a trusted adult around your child. Sometimes it will not be you. Sometimes it was not me. Sometimes it was my children's coaches or other parents, you know, this the teachers that are around. And the important thing again about about giving them a strategy is that if they feel that they, you know, come and talk to you about it.
To make sure that they have someone else that they can. It could be an older cousin, an aunt, an uncle, somebody in the family. And you'll see this later with a lot of teens is that they do don't want to be friends with their parents on social media, but they will with the cool cousin. And that cool cousin can kind of play an intermediary, not giving up too much information, of course, because children do have their right of privacy to a certain extent, but but just to keep things balanced and informed.
I think that the with Roblox w specifically, I mean that's something that we're working on right now as well, is is trying to put out conversation starters to really help parents, you know, make those conversations easier and to realize too that even if your child shuts down, you know, and doesn't want to talk, try again another day.
And don't try to speak to them when, you know, they're upset about their homework or they're hungry or, you know, they just had a breakup with their bestie. You know, pick those just small moments, those small times, whether you're, you know, doing the dishes together or walking the dog. And just show again that curiosity. That curiosity and not the criticism. Save the criticism for, you know, talking between parents and talking to me. Let me know. So see if I can't help. But for them, your child doesn't want to hear that. They just need you to be there.
Patricia Cangas (10:06)
Love it, the curiosity. It's hard to put it out there when you fear for them, right?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (10:12)
Yes. But you know what, Patricia, I I love that because let's take the digital away, right? So let's imagine that we are sending our child off to summer camp for the first time, or we're sending them to the grocery store for the first time. How do you take the fear away from these physical situations? You
Prepare, you're talking with your child. You've given them information. You may even discreetly follow them from behind, right? Which is something that you can do with parental controls if we're talking about being in a digital space. But the whole point is that you don't just let them go. You don't just, you know, let them go off on their own without some guidance and structure. And again, for me, I think something that I've seen that's always worked very well is having parental controls, the physical ones, and having parental conversations.
Patricia Cangas (10:52)
Love it. let's get a bit more specific. A lot of parents come to me asking about Roblox and I realize that they don't understand what it is. So they come to me with the question, My child wants to play Roblox, is that okay? But I don't believe that's the right question, right? Because what is Roblox? Can you develop on that and explain to the audience what it is basically?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (11:14)
It is immersive space. Let's just call it that. It is not one single game. And I think that's what parents don't understand. Is that there are millions of games on the platform and things that are just, you know, as simple as colors bouncing around to really intricate you know, gaming with strategy and things like that. I think that's something that we're also working on here within Roblox is to try to make it simpler for parents to understand what is Roblox, what are the benefits of Roblox, what can your child
do on Roblox again, as I said, connect, create, communicate, depending on the the correct age. Those are the things that we want them to to understand.
And you know, if there are risks, how can we minimize risk? How can we make sure that your child is speaking to children of the correct age and these types of things, which is why it's really exciting that Roblox has been listening to parents. they created my role a year ago, and it's the first one ever. You know, it's the first place that we have head of parental advocacy, and that's all I do is advocate for the parents. I am their sort of voice internally. I'm a bridge going back and forth. so for example, I'm gonna ask you it later, you know, what are some of the concerns?
you've been hearing from your parenting community so I can take that back with me to our cross-functional teams in production, the engineering teams, et cetera. And that is my role.
Patricia Cangas (12:30)
Roblox,
for what I understand, is also you said creation, so you can create games with Roblox. and I've tried the tool and it's amazing. And it's a great opportunity for kids to learn to code too, by the way. Just for the record for the audience, I have no relationship with Roblox in a commercial way, but I think it's a good way to create games. Also, if everybody can create games within Roblox, what does that mean for the parents, right? So it's many games, who creates those games?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (12:56)
Yeah, I think that super question. So I think that's something that parents really need to understand is that everything that's on the platform is user generated content, right? So it's not like, you know, I'm sitting here developing games for Roblox. These are the people that are out in the world who are experiencing life. And, you know, whether that is you know, I don't know, riding a bicycle and so they want to create a game where they're riding the tallest mountains, or if there's, you know, things that they're seeing in their own communities, things that are maybe upsetting to them or not, they are just showing it all. It is c it's sort of a place of you know free speech.
speech and democracy just talking about you know what's happening. But I think parents need to understand that, you know, it's a huge platform, similar to any other sort of like online platform that has lots of c different content that's age appropriate, where you can select that profile for your child before they watch that movie. Select that profile before they watch that cartoon.
Well, you can do the same thing on Roblox. It's just that simple of understanding and knowing about parental controls. And again, that's something that we're working on, you know, innovating all the time to make it easier for parents because we have heard them. They've said that sometimes the parental controls are a challenge, linking accounts, a challenge. So we are doing everything right now and have been in the past few months to make things easier. I
Patricia Cangas (14:06)
Sounds good.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (14:07)
think that a lot of parents don't even realize that we have a learning hub.
Right? where you can go and and that's something else that I'm working on to make it more visible on the website. But there's a place where parents can just go and they can find games that are created by the BBC, C B B's bite size, things like that. Educational games. But parents, I'm gonna tell you right now, do not take these games to your kids and say, Hey, I've got some educational games for you. Don't do that. Don't mention educational games, just say, I found some cool games. Wanna try? Because if you start saying educational, they're gonna say, ugh.
But just let them get in there and play. They will learn, they will thrive, and they won't realize that they are playing educational games.
Patricia Cangas (14:46)
I didn't know that BBC created games for Roblox. That's awesome. going back to the conversation part and let's connect it with these. So to the question I said, my child wants to play Roblox, is that good or bad? What would be the answer to that given all you've explained?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (15:02)
For me, I would say yes, it can be a great thing if they are in their right age bucket.
Patricia Cangas (15:07)
How do you define that?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (15:08)
So and I would also say, you know, if you're saying, is my child going to have a great experience going to school? And I would say yes, if you put them in the right grade, you put them in the right classroom, right? You're not gonna send your 17-year-old and put them in a classroom with six-year-olds and expect them learn how to color, and vice versa. And so that is exactly what we've done as well with Roblox, is we've just, well it's coming soon. It's already been launched, but
around the world, you will see I'm not gonna say an exact date, but I will say within two weeks. Roblox Kids and Roblox Select. And so for Roblox Kids, that is something where yes, your children that are five to eight, you can put them there and know that the games have been
Curated for lack of a better word, that that content is age appropriate. There is no chat. So if parents who are worried about their kids being able to talk to someone, no, the chat is off. the content that they'll be seeing are things that are just minimal and mild, and even then, for some of these things, if you want to change it to reduce it as a parental control, you can by linking your account. And the next category is Roblox Select. And Roblox Select is for children who are nine to fifteen. So here it's
more I won't say super mature content, but it's it's a more than I wouldn't want my seven year old to see these games or play these games unless they're like a super genius and I know these things. And so for nine to fifteen, you know, there's a capacity to chat and parents are the ones who can go in support and say whether they want this on or off if they have linked their accounts and they have created an account. But even with all of this, I would say
To keep those conversations going about what your children are playing and what they're seeing. And I want parents to realize they know their children best. So for example, my niece has Down syndrome. So I don't know which category of games I would want her to play, but if I'm talking to her because I know her best, just because she's 18 does not mean she needs to be playing those games. So I think that really, again, it's about you knowing your child, knowing where they are, if they're neurotypical.
goal or everything else. And so that way you can adjust for your family and for your expectations. And that's one of the things that we're really always trying to do at Roblox is to make sure that parents have agency and they realize that, you know, they are a trusted partner with us. And you know, this is two ways. Let's create some solutions together that are again both technical and practical.
Patricia Cangas (17:18)
Love it. Going back to the conversation part of on things and getting a bit practical, what does an actual Roblox or conversation sound like at the kitchen table? And I'm saying Roblox because you're an expert in Roblox, and as I said, many parents don't have the knowledge of what Roblox is, so I think this is very practical for them. But I think the Roblox conversation would be a conversation about games and games that specifically have chats.
So what does an actual conversation look like at the kitchen table when a child asks, I want to play Roblox?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (17:53)
So I think something that's again, we as we talked about curiosity is, you know, what is Roblox? Let's do some research together. Let's go take a look.
And so one of the easiest ways to take a look at Roblox or any other game, because we talked about, you know, everything, is to, you know, go on one of my favorite resources, which is Common Sense Media. and disclaimer, I am on the advisory for here in the UK, the U Common Sense Media UK Advisory, because I think it is so important for parents to know that they are outside trusted third parties that are going through games and apps and platforms for you and telling you what to think about them, telling you what their experiences are. And so if
go for example again onto Common Sense Media, you will see that it has a description of Roblox from the parents' view and from the children's view. And I think something as simple as that, that is an interesting way to get a conversation going, to show your child that you're interested in what they're saying. And let's learn a little bit more about it.
Honestly, that conversation is not going to take more than 10 minutes just to take a peek. And, you know, as you're talking with them, you will be able to again interject your values and your expectations for your family. So for example, if you have a younger child and you can see the guide that says something about chat, you can say, you know, we we don't really need to chat, do we? Because we're just gonna play the game. And they're gonna say, Yeah, I just wanna play the game. So there you go. You already know that you're not having to worry about chat. So you can use these outside sources to
Prompt you to to have a conversation. And the person that you don't realize who is the little mini authority is your child. They know a lot about Roblox. They know a lot about other games. I know with my own boys, I thought that that they had never heard a Call of Duty or any of the 18 plus games when they were younger, because we didn't have them in our house, they weren't allowed to play them.
Patricia, they were watching them on YouTube so they knew everything about the games. So I think it's that kind of reality to realize that, you know, even if you don't let your child play a certain game right now, they may hear about it at school. And so you, you know, you keep them a little bit informed about why this game is not appropriate for them right now at this age and then why it is appropriate for them.
Patricia Cangas (19:56)
Yeah. Whenever they come, parents come and they ask the question, is your books okay? I'm like, what are your kids playing? What's the game? What are they doing in the game? Who are they playing with? Do they know you know like the whole safety conversation? With the curiosity, not with the judgment, it's hard.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (20:14)
It's very, very hard. And I'm so glad you brought up those questions because those are I always call them the five W's because they were brought up years ago by Parent Zone in the UK and then I added a few. So it's you know the WWW, who is your child talking to? What are they doing online? Where are they going online? When are they going online? And at what time, right? Because a lot of times parents don't realize their kids are gaming at grandma's house or after school or late at night.
So I mean just keeping those five W's in mind, that's just a simple way to get those conversations started. But what I really love that you that you pulled out is the idea of what game are you playing because it is a huge, huge platform. And there again, there are millions of games. But I would add that right now, when children go on to play something like Roblox Kids or Roblox Select, they're not millions of games. They're tens of thousands, but that's it. And they've gone through a through three-step verification with our creators to make sure that we know who is creating this kind of content.
So that's I think that's really helpful as well. It's not just the all of user generated content that's out there. It is really age specific, age appropriate.
Patricia Cangas (21:15)
That sounds great. I think it will be very helpful. But as we're mentioning, communication at the end. Because no matter what game, no matter who's making it, no matter, you know, like the whole variables, the child development, personality, etc. etcetera, you gotta ask, what's the game about? Why do you like it? Why do you don't like it? Why do your friends like it? What is it in the game? And in my experience, most of the times the answer to those questions before they've even played is I don't know. So there's
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (21:43)
There's something there too. And I think it's also interesting to go a little bit further if you can, if you're not afraid as a parent, to say, you know, have you ever seen anything that, you know, made you feel a little icky in your stomach? You know, you want to talk to me about it. Let them know that you are a trusted partner and that you're there to help.
Them. So perhaps, and I've seen this when I would go into schools and talk with kids where they were watching horror movies, right? At a young age because, like, there were no parental profiles on the home television. And you know, as soon as you ask them about that, they tell you. And as a parent, once you know that your child has seen something that's inappropriate, then you can go in and adjust the parental controls or put on a profile, talk to your child, make sure that they're okay, and then make sure it doesn't happen again. And I think that is some of the most calming and pragmatic advice I can give and say is to you.
know once those conversations are started, it's not one and done. You keep them going. So it's
Patricia Cangas (22:34)
True and so hard.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (22:36)
so hard. No, Patricia, we know this is not easy, which is why a lot of people would like prefer to defer to just, you know, clicking a button. Of course it's not, it's not easy. But I do think that once they get started, they will absolutely enjoy that, that sort of you know family meal where you're talking about, you know, their favorite online games or their favorite online social media, you know, and letting your child lead about
what's happening out there. You'd be surprised with some of the things that they've seen, that they're learning. both good and some things where you might want to intervene. But the only way you can get that going is by having those conversations on a regular basis.
Patricia Cangas (23:10)
Love it.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (23:11)
say
sorry to reach out to other parents. You know, we've been talking about how it's a challenge, how it's scary for you. I mean this is the same thing, you know, when our children were young and we were giving them that that first food. You know, is it a solid? Is it, you know, what's it gonna be? How do I make sure they don't choke? I mean all of these things were frightening, but we would talk to other parents and I think that's something that you can rely on is asking other parents, you know, what games are your kids playing on Roblox, you know, that are creative or where they're thriving or you know what age did you let your child go into creator studio to start making their game?
I think it's just, you know, get that conversation going and share the good news, share the benefits. And if you do find anything that's challenging, you know, share what you did to reduce those challenges.
Patricia Cangas (23:52)
What if you are not having these conversations? What if you have already done it wrong? Quotes. Like there's no wrong right and wrong, right? But like is there can you solve it? Is there a path forward?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (24:05)
Yes,
yes of the
course there's a path forward and I think that for all the parents who are in caregivers who are listening to us who haven't done anything they haven't started a family media agreement they've never spoken to their child to realize it is okay you can start tomorrow you can truly start tomorrow it's kind of like I don't know having a holiday meal and you've just eaten everything that you weren't supposed to and it's like okay I'll start my diet on Monday you know but it's like you can start healthy eating tomorrow. You really can do don't worry about what's happened in the past let's fix this. And again the ways to do that are by talking with your children.
I think something that's really interesting with what you're saying about parents who haven't had conversations is also some of the parents who maybe it's not even.
possible for them to have those conversations. And there I would say that's when it takes a community. It takes a community of other parents, you know, when your kids are on play dates or they're playing with each other where, you know, you can be that parental guardian. You can be that parent figure to support. Same thing with educators. They hear the kids. They know what they're talking about. Again, I would go into schools and the educators would know the games. They would know what the kids are doing. They would know about sometimes if there was any sort of digital drama that got started out in the
courtyard and then continued in online or vice versa. So, you know, rely on this community of support of people to talk with you and to help.
Patricia Cangas (25:20)
I'm all about community and agreeing. It just makes the kids' life easier and the parents' life easier if we as a community agree.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (25:28)
Yes. my god. I love that one too, Patricia, because that's something that I have been saying for 15 years. Saying as simple as if we can get together to agree on an end of the year gift for the teacher, end of the school year gift, why can't we get together at the beginning of the school year and say, okay.
This is the time that our kids can play. These are the games that we're thinking. If we're gonna change it, let's meet up and do like a coffee chat. And that way we can, you know, all be on the same page. That way there's not so much the that FOMO, that fear of missing out from certain kids. And even get together to decide at what age you want to give a device. You know, if everybody get together and talk about it. I mean, you are raising the next generation of digital people and they need to understand this. I mean, we're talking games and social media and of course Roblox, but
AI, let's go. AI is here. We've got to yeah, and if parents are already freaked out about, you know, what we've been doing for the past you know years or so, they need to step up as well for AI. And it's all the same, just stay calm, keep the conversations going. don't let fear overtake you. It's not about your child and what they're doing. Sometimes it's the algorithm. So let's get in there and figure these things out.
Patricia Cangas (26:33)
Hundred percent, it all comes down to conversation, no matter what the technology is, now, tomorrow, or probably in a hundred years.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (26:41)
Exactly. More than ever. More than ever. Yes.
Patricia Cangas (26:44)
So let's start wrapping up. I think this is great. what are three sentences parents can use this week and they can leave this episode with?
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (26:55)
Three sentences as in three things for them to do or three things that I would love it if they remembered that we said.
Patricia Cangas (27:01)
Yes, that you will love it if they remember. Yes.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (27:04)
Probably I would say I'd mentioned about pronto controls, right? And I was saying how they're not really training wheels, but it's conversation that you can use to kind of be that digital on your digital journey. So again, I'm always stressing those two going together. I think I would also stress for them to be curious, not critical, to be interested and not an interrogation, right?
And I think I've also said to before about just I think I mentioned about being interested. But I think the last thing I would say is don't be afraid. Don't let the fear overtake, you know, what you're doing. You still have agency, you still have control, you still can get conversations started. And I think that, you know, you have to understand their world, you have to discuss the tricky stuff. I know you don't want to. I you're helping them build critical thinking, you're giving them those strategies. And I think I'd already already mentioned too about, you know, setting those boundaries together and ta and again
Conversation will naturally lead you to do this. So I think the something that I used to always say is that we're we're not teaching, you're not teaching your child just how to like cross the street. You're teaching them how to navigate all intersections and streets and highways, right? So you have to get started and give them the strategy that's appropriate at that right time. And it's the same thing right now. You're not teaching them how to use one app, you're not teaching them how to use one gaming.
platform, you are really preparing them for the future with critical thinking because it's all fluid. We s we see it everywhere and it's the same thing that's happening with AI coming up.
Patricia Cangas (28:24)
Yes, communication and critical thinking. Those go together, actually.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (28:29)
Yeah. I once had a a course that had like all nine Cs, you know, critical thinking, conversation, communication, I can't remember all of them, confidence. And it's you know, c it's just all of that. Creativity, curiosity, right? And it's like you get all of those things together and you've got it. You can kind of mix it up.
Patricia Cangas (28:45)
Yeah, not easy though. Yes.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (28:48)
It is not easy. But you know, is raising children easy? It's rewarding. And that's what we're trying to do here too, is to make it as rewarding as possible for them to thrive in the digital age. And I think that they can do it.
Patricia Cangas (28:58)
And it's never too late.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (29:00)
Never too late. That's probably the most important thing. Never, ever.
Patricia Cangas (29:04)
Thank you so much. This was awesome. Love the practical tips and thank you.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (29:09)
quite
welcome Patricia. Happy to come back anytime. Let's do it. Let's like make something happen.
Patricia Cangas (29:14)
Yes, perfect. Sounds great.
Dr. Elisabeth Milovidov (29:16)
to
all your parents. What a great community.
Patricia Cangas (29:20)
That was Dr. Elizabeth Milavidov. Three things I'm taking from this conversation. First, parental controls and conversation work together. Controls are the training wheels, the conversation is a ride. Second, curiosity, not criticism. Interested, not interrogating. And third, it's never too late to start. Links will be in the show notes, as always. And if this episode helped, share it with one parent who needs it. And remember, stay calm, keep the conversations going, don't let fear overtake you.
You can do this. Thanks for listening.
