Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to Pixel Parenting, a podcast where we blend science, research and real life parenting to help you navigate the digital age with your kids. I'm Patrusa Kangas, holder of a Master's degree in Educational Studies by Johns Hopkins University, passionate about video games, and former video game professional and a mom of two young girls. And today we're diving into a topic that's really close to my heart and two my cart. Boredom, kids, and technology. Now, you might be thinking, boredom. Isn't that something we're all trying to avoid? Well, yes, but not only our kids. Adults. We also try to avoid boredom. Let's start with describing boredom. So boredom isn't just having nothing to do. It's an emotional state that can bring a sense of dissatisfaction or even a mild anxiety. From a psychological perspective, boredom arises when we want stimulation or engagement, but don't find our current activity or environment, wherever we're doing, rewarding enough. This state can be surprisingly stressful. Many adults have been built a high tolerance for boredom, so it triggers negative feelings that we try to escape. Imagine yourself sitting in a car, waiting for a red light. You have nothing to do, just wait for that red light to change. What do you do? You start feeling uncomfortable, and in a few seconds your first impulse may be to grab the phone to soothe that mild anxiety or a little bit of stress.
[00:01:21] Effective emotional regulation can help manage this itch. Emotional regulation is the ability to understand and hand our feelings in a healthy way. It is really hard, at least for me, to not grab my phone, but an adult with good emotional regulation may notice the feeling of boredom. And instead of panicking and grabbing our phone, we might take a deep breath and use that moment to observe our surroundings. Think about the rest of the day, whatever crosses your mind, and feel comfortable with it. However, many of us have gotten so used to constant entertainment that sitting in a red light or whenever with boredom feels nearly impossible. Our cultural mindset often treats boredom as something to avoid at all costs, rather than a normal emotion to just tolerate or even harness. This discomfort with boredom is tightly linked to how we focus our attention and the habits we've developed in this age of technology. So what happens to our children?
[00:02:26] So research tells us that boredom isn't just something to be managed. It's actually a powerful tool for creativity, emotional resilience, and even cognitive development in children. In today's episode, we'll focus on toddlers. Yes, these cute little ones between one and three years old. I'll be sharing some scientific insights and plenty of practical, mostly non Tech tips that you can start using right away at home and on the road. So let's dive into it. Why? Boredom isn't all bad for toddlers. So let's start with the basics. Research tells us that toddlers have incredibly short attention spans. They get bored quickly, and that's natural. In fact, studies have shown that when toddlers face moments of boredom, they start making a play out of everyday objects. Like turning a cardboard box into a spaceship or a hat or a castle or a fort or whatever. Their imagination them. When your toddler is left to figure out what to do with a simple toy, they're not just wasting time. They're learning to problem solve. According to research, toddlers who can easily switch how they play with their toys, engage longer and more creatively. Those creative leaps in the gameplay, even if it's just stacking up a cup differently, are early exercises in imaginative thinking. So, and here's another bonus. A tiny bit of boredom teaches them emotional resilience.
[00:03:47] It might sound odd, but when a toddler learns that they don't have constant entertainment, they also learn a little bit about handling frustration.
[00:03:56] Child psychologists know that these brief moments of boredom help toddlers develop patience and learn to self soothe. It's like a mini workout for their future emotional muscles.
[00:04:09] So what exactly happens during these I'm bored moments? Let's break it down. First, cognitive flexibility and creativity. When a toddler is left to entertain themselves, they often come up with inventive ideas. For instance, if they're staring at a plain box, they might imagine it as a car or a dollhouse, or even a secret tunnel. This kind of creative play isn't just fun. It's practice for problem solving and creative thinking later in life. Building frustration tolerance. Sure, it might lead to a few tears, some fuzziness at first, but those moments are teaching them how to handle frustration.
[00:04:49] Learning that they can eventually figure something out on their own. Even if it takes trial and error, it builds emotional resilience. So as a parent, when your kid comes and they're like, I'm bored, I'm bored, there's nothing to do, I have no toys. And they're surrounded by toys. Whenever they are in the house, hanging there for a minute, give them one to five minutes. Because yes, maybe they're tired, maybe they're hungry, but maybe they're just feeling that tiny bit of stress that comes with boredom. They're building a muscle.
[00:05:25] And eventually when they get over that feeling, they'll find something to do. Something will catch your attention. You can help them. You can Give them ideas. You can give them a hint. You can mention a project. We'll dive into the practical tips a bit later in the. In this episode, you can give them something that will make them come out of that stressful feeling. Give them one to five, one to five minutes. It requires patience. You're going to hear them, they're going to repeat. They're very persistent. I'm bored, I'm bored. You can say, try this, try that. Hopefully they will find something to do. They're building that muscle. Another benefit is encouraging independence. So every time a toddler manages a period of boredom through practicing independence, instead of waiting for someone to say, hey, play with this. They begin to explore on their own if they get over the right, the emotional management part of it. And then they make choices and they learn through play.
[00:06:21] So to sum up, boredom can foster cognitive flexibility and creativity, build frustration tolerance, and encourage independence.
[00:06:31] Now let's move into the practical tools.
[00:06:35] So I'm going to divide this into two sets of tools. I'll start with tools for home and then I'll talk for tools in the car.
[00:06:45] Let's start with what we do at home. You may be wondering, okay, this all is great, but how can I help my toddler benefit from boredom without them turning into a little grump? Well, here are a few practical tips that can help. Tip number one, Provide safe and not structured playtime. So create a toddler friendly space at home where your little one can explore freely. Think of it as their personal mini adventure zone. Lay out the simple everyday objects, maybe up to three toys or things they can play with and just let them explore. You can put their kitchen utensils box, plastic cups, a few items that maybe they're new, maybe they're not that new, and just let them explore. The idea isn't to have a perfectly organized playroom, but to give them a room to create and imagine.
[00:07:38] Help them with small prompts. If you notice that they're really stuck in their boredom feeling, offer a gentle idea. For example, you might say, I wonder what we could build with these blocks. Or maybe we could build a fort with this cardboard. And then step back and let their creativity take over.
[00:07:58] It's amazing how just a little prompt can turn the I'm bored into look. I built a castle.
[00:08:05] Rotate toys. The brain likes novelty, kids like novelty. And not all toys need to be out in the play area at the same time. You can keep some in the closet so that they forget about them and take them out every now and then. You can rotate them. I personally have a hard time remembering to rotate the toys, so I ended up putting a reminder in my calendar every month to rotate them. I take three out and I put three in and so that way there's always the same amount of toys in the play area. Sometimes I forget and I do it when I'm triggered by the very popular sentence mom, I really have nothing to play with. So that reminds me too Involve them in everyday tasks Turn an everyday task into a fun activity. For example, if you're doing laundry, let them help sort the clothes by color, or if you're cooking dinner, give them a safe role like steering or setting a table. These activities transform these idle moments into opportunities for learning, connection and teaching. Okay, what about traveling in the car? There are a lot of boredom opportunities, but you don't want to sit in a four hour drive with a bored, frustrated toddler. So you will need to plan to keep a little bit of boredom management and a lot of fun. Let's dive into it.
[00:09:27] Surprise and novelty again. Our brains like novelty, so I always keep a few surprise items like a new or forgotten board book, small toy, either new or forgotten, sticker sheets, pipe cleaners, maybe arty things. The key is to introduce a new or a forgotten toy at a time and that toy will captivate their attention during a certain amount of time during the trip. If you don't want to plan for every single trip in the backpack that I usually use for traveling, I keep their stickers and always the same activities so they're new when we're traveling and then I hide them, they forget about them and by the time we're traveling again, they're new again. So you don't have to plan for every single trip, you just keep it in your backpack all the time.
[00:10:16] Tip number three Plan for breaks. These might be obvious for some parents, not that obvious for some others, but when you're in a long drive, plan for regular pit stops. Let them stretch your legs, have a snack, or just run around safely. A short break can really reset their mood and make the next the rest of the journey much pleasant.
[00:10:36] Plan for them. Maybe you don't take them because they fall asleep or they don't need it, but plan for it. Maybe worst case scenario, your trip will be shorter. Tip number four Tech As a last resort, and while I'm a big fan of creativity over screens, sometimes a little tech can help on particularly long journeys. If your toddler becomes extremely fuzzy, you might allow a short, careful, selected show or interactive app. The idea is to use tech here and there so that it doesn't become the default go to for every bored moment. My rule for tech that works for me might not work for you and it's where my kids are used to is no tech for trips under six hours and especially if it's daylight. Because if it's daylight they can look out of the window and we can play games. Look for cows. They can be entertained looking at whatever's happening outside but for over six hour trips and especially if it gets dark and they don't fall asleep because they're not tired, then they can watch some age appropriate show.
[00:11:35] That said, I always have a downloaded movie in the iPad just in case that four hour drive or two hour drive turns into a six hour drive because of traffic or whatever reason. It is always good to have it as a backup plan.
[00:11:52] Again, this might work for you, this might not. This works for my family so some final thoughts and Takeaways Boredom isn't something we need to fear. It's actually a vital part of your toddler's development. When your little one experiences boredom, they're not just sitting idle, they're learning to be creative, developing problem solving and building the emotional resilience that will help them through life.
[00:12:18] To recap, boredom sparks creativity. When toddlers face unstructured playtime, they come up with imaginative play ideas, transforming a box into whatever their imagination leads them to. It builds emotional resilience. Early moments of I'm Bored help toddlers practice patience and self soothing and it fosters independence. Allowing your toddler to navigate boredom builds confidence in their ability to entertain themselves. Research points to the fact that unstructured screen free time is incredibly valuable for your toddler's cognitive and emotional growth. As a parent, it might feel counterintuitive to let your child experience boredom, but since sometimes stepping back is the best way to help them develop in creative, independent little people. Thank you so much for joining me today on this dive into toddler boredom. I hope you found this, not boredom and that you found these insights and tips as empowering as I do. I'd love to hear your stories. What creative ways have you found to turn boredom into an opportunity at home or on the go? Reach out on our website or drop a comment and if you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe and share it with other parents who might need a little inspiration. This was Pixel Parenting, where we turn everyday parenting challenges into opportunities for growth. I'm Patricia and wishing you a joyful adventures and creative moments with your little ones. Until next time, happy parenting.
